There seems to be a limitless amount of material available to help us change for the better.
Whether it is overcoming addiction and trauma, or learning new skills, there are books, podcasts, classes, blog posts (including from yours truly), and more on offer.
These options to learn and grow are all useless, however, if we do not first begin with the belief that we CAN change.
We all have bad days. Sometimes, those days can stretch into weeks, months, and even years. During those darker times, we find it a struggle to look in the mirror and believe we are capable of anything more than what we currently see.
While I don’t profess to have any magical remedy for when we find ourselves in these types of situations, I can write an article that may just help to serve as a small reminder that you CAN change.
Admittedly, I’m writing this as much for myself as I am for readers.
Figuring out life is tough. This year, especially, has been a difficult time for me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I’ve found myself encountering loss (relationship, interests, and even of self) and uncovering quite a distorted ways of thinking. It has been an overwhelming 7 months (and counting), to say the least.
I’ve consumed so much material that, while being beneficial overall, has made it seem like these major changes can happen quickly. Maybe this is the case for some, but that hasn’t been my experience. It feels like every other day I’m challenged by some limiting belief or trauma induced fear. Sometimes they are “new” to my conscious, while other times they are issues that I thought I already tackled.
What a lot of self-help gurus tend to miss in their teachings is an emphasis on how this process is never truly done. They key is to become aware of what is holding you back and then to consistently push yourself to move past it.
We often think of ourselves as limited. I am person x, have these traits, this history, and these expectations about life. What I’ve found is that we are much more like life, in general, in that we are actually limitless. Just as there are an infinite number of lessons and mysteries in life, so are there in ourselves.
When I’m able to shift the perception of myself away from limited to limitless, I feel much better. It is ok to “not know” how you feel or what you want at any given moment. It is ok that you had a past that maybe wasn’t so great because your future is actually a blank page. It is ok if we aren’t good at something, because there are so many things out in the world we have the ability to be good at. The list goes on.
I realize that this is all fine and dandy if you are in the headspace to have this perspective. Maybe if we approach this idea more as a truth and implant it as a belief in our brains over a period of time through repetitive affirmations it will become easier to refer back to.
Why not at least try?
If this still isn’t doing it for you, that’s ok. You will get there. You know how I know? Because there have been moments where the clouds of despair and hopelessness have been pierced by sunlight and have illuminated my journey, allowing me to see examples of how I have grown and changed. It is possible. You CAN change.
Whether you want to be more physically fit, overcome a learning disability, increase your financial IQ, become more present in your life and relationships, work through mental health issues, behave in a less self-obsessed manner, shift negative thought patterns, shed the weight of past traumas and familial and societal pressures, get more aligned and in touch with yourself, or any other changes big or small… You CAN change.
It takes time, inner strength, patience, self love, and a determination to want to make healthy life style changes. All of us are capable of this because what is required are innate human abilities.
So even when it feels like you are drowning in self-doubt, please remember, it is possible. You CAN change.